Johnathan Croom · Life—only real when shared.

Sleep

So put pretty simply, I’ve seriously wrecked my sleeping habits more than a few times in my life. There’s long periods where I can remember waking up at 2-4 in the afternoon, and shorter periods I can remember happily waking up at 5 in the morning. Having experienced both extremes, and everything in between, I have come to prefer waking up early. That’s not to say I actually do it.

My sleep is all out of whack again, for a lot of reasons, but mainly just consequence of small wrong decisions (and the lack of determination to fix it). So, starting today, I’m going to try and move my wake-up time to about 5-6am. Today, I got up at 5am, and have since cooked a nice wholesome breakfast.

So why early? Well mainly two reasons. Firstly, I feel so much happier and refreshed when I don’t sleep for 12 freaking hours, and that’s easy to do when you wake up at noon. Also, I enjoy the early hours of the day much more than the nighttime. Both are fabulously deserted, but the morning brings along energy and hope for the day instead of tiredness and darkness. I happen to know from experience that I can get a lot more done in the morning than at night, too.

So that’s all there is to it. I spent yesterday preparing, and I got up this morning naturally (no alarm). This is day one of many. I have radically changed my sleeping habits before, and I am confident that I can do it again.

Stuff

1992 Toyota Celica being towed

Nothing matters but people. Everything else is just stuff. Movies, school, cars, food, the weather, trees, it’s all just stuff. None of it matters. All that matters is raw, true emotion. The kind of emotion that comes from a deep meditation of the mind. The kind of emotion that happens when you’re doing what you love, in my case, singing.

Everything is just a huge pile of distracting bullshit. Everything distracts you from living life for real. We’re all, myself included, too worried about being offended and not worried enough about enjoying life. Who cares if it’s too cold for comfort. Who cares if you don’t have a dinner table. Who cares if you don’t have time to eat in the morning. Who cares if you have a headache. None of that stuff matters. You’re not going to remember any of that when you look back.

I’m sick of everything being so goddamn perfect. I want some imperfection! I want mistakes and troubles and struggle. I want to remember having to overcome huge battles instead of remembering that I didn’t eat toast this morning.

All I want is to feel alive. I want to be excited.

Johnathan Croom · Life—only real when shared.