Back in August, when I was originally started this blog, it didn’t have any real direction (as if it does now), and I wrote some pretty interesting things that I want to overanalyze.
About nine months ago, I wrote:
I want to teach people to live extraordinarily unusual, fun, exhilarating lives. In order to do so, I need to be living the excitement myself. This blog is my attempt at living that life so that I can pass it on to others.
I started this blog after reading many Impossible HQ blog posts. I felt inspired to live a new, improved life and “a life worth writing about,” as Joel would say. I even created a page containing a list of (somewhat) extreme things I’d like to accomplish, like his. I started this blog with intentions of making my life exhilarating and profound, but it has hardly been that. It has rather been filled with anger, resentment, and depression.
At that same time, I also wrote:
Johnathan is a simple person. He keeps people motivated in order to motivate himself and spends his spare time being inspirational and quoting himself. He’s searching for his purpose in the world and writing about the adventure called Life. He isn’t a big believer in careers, but rather making dreams reality.
I sometimes think that I’m some insanely complex person, but in reality I am not. I’m just a simple person who enjoys being intellectually challenged, and that loves to spread positivity and happiness. I do commonly find myself motivating other people, but I can’t guarantee that helps me any. I still enjoy it quite a lot.
I do like to think that I can be inspirational to others, but not all of the time. Just sometimes, when I feel like I have something to say. I do quote myself, just because I do say important things sometimes. Some of those quotes find their way to CandidCow, whether they’re actually good or not.
I am definitely searching for my purpose in the world and writing about Life.
Careers are too mumbo-jumbo-y for me. Just decide what you want to do, whatever that is, and do it. Call it a career if you want, I don’t care.
I like myself as a person. I’m positive and always pushing the world onward. I try my best to help the people around me and am always expecting people to improve themselves. I think I would be my friend, if I wasn’t me already, if that makes any sense. I think that’s a fantastic way to be.
I do recognize that I make very bad decisions, quite often. These decisions lead to a lot of remorse and unhappiness. I know I should just let these things go and push forward, as I’d recommend to anybody, but it’s hard. It’s hard to not constantly beat myself up about these things. It’s hard to see past all the mistakes and do something great.
I am trying though. I truly am. I know I will look back at these blog posts and smile. I will smile because I will remember the journey and what I’ve been through. I will look back and see how far I’ve come and I will know that anything is possible.